i eat the majority of my meals alone. (with the exception of a few out of this world friends and family who rework their schedules to accommodate my ridiculous one) i am ok with dining alone. i typically have a pb&j if i have bread at home or if i am traveling i eat whatever i can find nearby my mid-priced range hotel - typically something wrapped in paper or that requires plastic service ware - chipotle and subway are loyal standbys. i take advantage of hotline.com as i fly in and out of airports and book myself in a four star hotel ever chance i get - and then i am super lame-o and order room service.
but tonight i ventured out! a wonderful friend of mine challenged me to go downstairs at my fancy-schmancy hotel and order a decent meal. so, i powdered my nose, back combed my weary hair and set out in search of a mouth watering plate of vittles - but more important, conversation. upon entering the dimly lit but nicely appointed restaurant from the bank of elevators, i spotted the sign that said to approach the hostess stand for a seat. in an effort to make friends (or at least in an attempt to remove a brick from my barrier [see yesterday's blog]) i took a seat at the bar next to a lady, about my age, who appeared to be alone. i ordered a glass of red wine.
now almost every single person who is reading this would think this is not too much of a stretch for an outgoing girls such as myself . . . but those of you who really, really know me can attest to my i'd really rather be at home or with my very close circle of friends than i would entertaining the masses attitude . . . seriously. anyway, i specifically sat next to the only other lady in the bar thinking this would be a great way to strike up a conversation and "meet some fabulous people" as i was instructed could be done if i was in the right frame of mind.
so i ask her where she hails from and what business brings her here, etc. clearly not very smashing topics as demonstrated by quickly turning to the gentleman next to her on the other side and striking up a conversation about how many beers he had to drink before he found his favorite. so i turned my attention to the two gentleman sitting on the other side of me. they were yucking it up about missing happy hour as they finished quaffing (that's a snoopy term) down the last of their second round of cocktails. i suggested they drink faster so as not to miss the close of happy hour - and they laughed - - - and left.
so, i ate my pasta and delicious rustic bread. alone. in silence. all the while wondering where the skill to start a conversation with a stranger goes once i hang up my work hat. why is it i struggle making conversation over dinner in a hotel restaurant/bar yet i am perfectly comfortable asking for $2 million dollars or closing a multi-year sales deal? is it the stereo typical, possibly looming pick-up that frightens me or an i could care less attitude that permeates my very being? that doesn't really sound much like me. but this i know - i suck really bad at small talk with people who i do not know and will not know past the dinner hour.
this is not to say i will never try again - because i am not a quitter and i imagine i will give it another try again. but i must say, room service, a 20% gratuity and a $3.00 delivery charge doesn't sound so bad right now.
If you ever get this figured out let me know. As you know, I suck at Smalltalk. I dread cocktail parties and receptions. My problem is that I find it almost impossible to say things that everyone around me already knows, like what the weather is. It seems to me that conversation should always be creative and about something new--something not easily achieved with strangers. I notice that there are several books out there on this, like “Cocktail Party Cheat Sheets”, “How to Instantly Connect with Anyone” and, “The Fine Art of Small Talk”. But I am so unmotivated to read any of them.
ReplyDeleteIf anyone can figure this out, it's Staci.