where is jack handy when all you seek is obvious clarity

• what am i doing here?  i do not belong.  i do not fit.  not in a selfish way.  but in a flat, open, derelict sort of way.  life pads on and i step in to situations that neither embrace the way i think nor do they allow for anything other than a stiff and prescribed way of acting which i can neither accept nor understand.

• it is entirely possible to have such sensible shoes in your wardrobe that they become who you are.  look at the shoes of the people who you interact with.  i bet my best 6 inch stilettos that they reflect the personality, values, character and actions to a tee.  just a thought.  neither right or wrong.  just is.

• seldom do i feel more of a disconnect from reality than the week before christmas.  but this year is strangely different.  i am not buying presents for my family - it is a new day and we are buying for a family who actually has needs.  this is a good thing.   now if we would each not loose the lesson in giving what is truly needed - do you even understand what this means?

•  i have discovered a new depth within myself and i am so excited about it.  it is not public but you will be the first one to know once it is.  i can see it from here.  all i need is a bit more time and the story will be ready for consumption.  order an extra bucket of popcorn - this is going to be good.

• your crass, hateful, uppity behavior is not working - for you or on me.  you have become completely unapproachable and i can only feel bad for you as i can not interact with you when you act like that.  i do not know whether to be hurt from your actions, embarrassed about you or just pity you.  regardless, this is not a good way to live.  are you happy with yourself?  i have had enough.

• does my intolerance of hate stem from liminal relationships?