when i met him he was strong. so strong. and funny! i mean laugh until you cried funny. gym-rat deluxe. never missed a workout. huge muscles. big grin. larger than life. i could pick out the timbre of his voice over the blaring music in the weight room every time. the color of his melodic laugh was sunny yellow. unmistakable!
we lost touch. for years. decades in fact. enter facebook. re-enter the gym rat deluxe.
only now he is sick. really sick. the kind you do not recover from. the kind of sick that debilitates you and there is nothing you can do. no medicine can fix it. no amount of love can correct the evil disease that has taken over. he is dying. and he knows it. there is no denying it.
yet the minute i saw his name the laugh began to ring in my ears and i could see that gorgeous smile again. he is still larger than life. he is still funny. and strong. not his body - that strength left some time ago. but his love filled heart is nothing short of miraculous.
through the modern day miracle of facebook we began a conversation, his typed with his thumbs as that is all that moves now, about his impending death. i wanted him to know while he is still alive that i will be at his funeral. he shared the location of the service, the priest that will preside and stated there will be no invitations sent. bummer. that would have been so him. and so cool. hard to pin down the date i suppose.
i asked him if he was afraid of dying to which he responded:
I don't know what to expect the act of dying to be like. I will likely die from respiratory failure. A harsh death to watch. I'll be morphine to the gills if not too sudden. Don't want to suffer such in front of my sister. Would like to drop dead. I like surprises and that away we all move along. I worry about making amends with people.
even as he faces the last little oomph of his 50-some year old life he is eking out humor, love, forgiveness and kindness. he is the consummate brave soul. he is the best example of getting the heart of the watermelon of life i know. i appreciate his willingness to let me ask my questions. and i love his journey to the end.
clark, may your ride to the light be swift. thank you and peace. yes dear.
we lost touch. for years. decades in fact. enter facebook. re-enter the gym rat deluxe.
only now he is sick. really sick. the kind you do not recover from. the kind of sick that debilitates you and there is nothing you can do. no medicine can fix it. no amount of love can correct the evil disease that has taken over. he is dying. and he knows it. there is no denying it.
yet the minute i saw his name the laugh began to ring in my ears and i could see that gorgeous smile again. he is still larger than life. he is still funny. and strong. not his body - that strength left some time ago. but his love filled heart is nothing short of miraculous.
through the modern day miracle of facebook we began a conversation, his typed with his thumbs as that is all that moves now, about his impending death. i wanted him to know while he is still alive that i will be at his funeral. he shared the location of the service, the priest that will preside and stated there will be no invitations sent. bummer. that would have been so him. and so cool. hard to pin down the date i suppose.
i asked him if he was afraid of dying to which he responded:
I don't know what to expect the act of dying to be like. I will likely die from respiratory failure. A harsh death to watch. I'll be morphine to the gills if not too sudden. Don't want to suffer such in front of my sister. Would like to drop dead. I like surprises and that away we all move along. I worry about making amends with people.
even as he faces the last little oomph of his 50-some year old life he is eking out humor, love, forgiveness and kindness. he is the consummate brave soul. he is the best example of getting the heart of the watermelon of life i know. i appreciate his willingness to let me ask my questions. and i love his journey to the end.
clark, may your ride to the light be swift. thank you and peace. yes dear.
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