aging slows down for no one

she rises as early as 5 a.m. every morning to a small cup of pills.  she dresses herself out of a closet that is not familiar.  she searches her cupboards and drawers for her personal items.  nothing is as it should be.  oxygen is always connected.  her mind is as sharp as ever.  she knows the medical name of all of her meds.  she asks repeatedly for the staff to close her door as they leave - you must latch it for it to stay shut - why can't they remember?

she asked me why i put her in a nursing home.  she doesn't like it because it is full of old people.  her body is slow.  her mind is not.  her memory is sharp and sometimes so is her tongue.  and she feels horrible when that happens.  she apologizes but her world is not what she thinks it should be.  how did she end up in a rehab center at 92?  gaining strength every day - strength from her physical trainers - but real strength from those of you who write, call and visit.   

what goes in and what comes out.  that is her domain.  no current events.  no inquiry about extended family.  why can't the staff take more time and talk to her?  why are they all in such a hurry?  why didn't her oxygen tank get changed?  why did they wake her up to tell her they were closing her blinds?  is it necessary for a man to give a woman a shower?  all modesty has been replaced by appreciation for help.

i am not prepared to witness what is happening.  however i would not miss it for the world.  i can not tell her she will get better.  but i would never dream of not encouraging her to try.  i do not know why her life continues.  yet i cherish every single moment i have with her.